Struck by the intricacy of the fruit carvings of animals encased in Commons water containers, local student Anthony Ware ‘16 found himself stalling in front of the glass cases, wondering about the experiences an animal-shaped fruit might have. “These fruits are so beautiful on the surface, but must be so lonely pent up in their glass containers,” mused the Upper. “I mean, think about what it must feel like to be separated from your kin so that you can live in close proximity with other impressive fruit-animals competing for attention?”
Elaborating upon the various burdens of life as a water fruit, Ware murmured, “I can’t imagine what being surrounded with water must feel like. Even when you’re completely saturated with material, you just have to keep absorbing everything. And then when you’re close to getting some breathing room, someone pours more water into your bucket. I don’t think fruits are really meant to be live this way. Maybe someone was hoping that if they were carved into interesting shapes, they’d benefit from the kind of attention that animals receive, but on a deeper level, these fruits are twisting their true selves.”
As Ware finished his thought, his attention was caught by a pineapple carved into the shape of a sheep in a vat of lemon water. “That pineapple up there probably gets a lot of attention,” said Ware. “It’s pretty, and gives off some charisma. But what does a position high up on the counters in Upper Left even mean for a fruit when its entire purpose up there is to uphold a fleeting image of prestige?”
Floating next to the eggplant in the lemon water was a melon-encased engraving of a young bluefin tuna. “Look at that. A fish in water,” muttered Ware, before letting out a bitter laugh. “I wonder if that fish knows that its entire existence in that glass case depends on its shiny exterior. As long as it remains inert and doesn’t show any external sign of weakness, it will remain. But the minute it starts feeling the pressure and breaks down a little, it is quickly and silently removed.”
At this point, Ware noticed his reflection in the glass and shuddered. Rather than drink the flavored water, he sat down at a table and waited patiently for the chocolate milk to get refilled.