Anna Sassin ‘17 and Bob Katz ‘17
WE’RE DOOMED! WE NEED A REVOLUTION! THOUSANDS OF STUDENTS ALWAYS FALLING ASLEEP! WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING! AND WE GOTTA DO IT NOW!
Den Prices Raised for Top 1%
Middle class families are expected to pay thousands of dollars worth of tuition while the millionaires and billionaires only have to pay $1.25 for a pack of gum. This is unacceptable. We need education that is affordable for everyone.
Get Rid of that ATM in GW
We need to break up the big bank in the mailroom of GW. It controls too much of this school’s wealth.
Not Really Sure What to Do About Andover High and Exeter
We did not support yelling “apply again next year” after getting catbonered, and we believe that is the right decision.
Dan Druff ‘17 and Jack Hammer ‘17
We are going to make Andover great again. Our changes are going to be yoooge.
Build a Wall Between Abbot and Flagstaff
Every morning, floods of Abbot students walk to Flagstaff and eat food from our dining hall and take classes in our academic buildings. Go to Graves if you want to take a class, and maybe take a walk downtown for food once in a while.
John Palfrey Went to Exeter
His high school diploma shows that he is not a natural-born Phillipian. Come on fam
Other Candidates are Weak
We’re the strongest two people here. We know we’re two guys, but that doesn’t mean we can’t run, right?
Lou Pole ‘17 and Molly Kuehl ‘17
If you don’t vote for us, we’ll send you an email saying that you will get restriction.
Cut Funding for Science Department
Have you seen Gelb? It’s so much prettier than the other academic buildings. And they have a whole observatory upstairs? Where’s the money for Rel Phil?
All Students Can Have a Projector in their Dorm Rooms
Projector regulations have reached an all time high. Every time a kid touches a hot projector, the school just tries to ban people from having projectors. Projector legislation is not the answer. The answer? More projectors. If you have a projector, you can protect yourself from the people who use their projectors unsafely.
Make Omelette Bar Serve Green Eggs and Ham
*insert 24 hour speech here*
Lily Pad ‘17 and Mike Stand ‘17
Let’s get rid of the idea that Mr. Palfrey doesn’t know what he’s doing. Mr. Palfrey knows exactly what he’s doing.
Mr. Palfrey Knows Exactly What He’s Doing
Let’s dispel of this fiction that Mr. Palfrey doesn’t know what he’s doing. Mr. Palfrey knows exactly what he’s doing.
Head of School John Palfrey Knows What He is Doing
Mr. Palfrey knows exactly what he is doing. He didn’t lose his racket, he knew where it was the whole time.
We Will Not Cause the Disaster that Mr. Palfrey Has Caused
Mr. Palfrey caused a disaster. And it’s not like he didn’t know what he was doing. He knew exactly what he was doing.
Cara Van ‘17 and May Day ‘17
As the only pair of two women in the co-presidential race, we are prepared to claim leadership and get things done. We might not be able to find the golden goose, but we have some chicken that will do.
Release All Emails to the Student Body
Not just from our andover emails, but from our personal email accounts. Even those chain emails from fifth grade where if you don’t forward it to twenty people, you burn for all eternity in a vat of Beyond Meat and cucumber water.
We’re cool too fam. See, we said fam. We know slang. Right?
Avoid Scandals with Exeter and Andover High School
We may not have noticed the graffiti before Andover/Exeter day on the paths, but it’s not our fault. We swear. Check our emails if you don’t believe us.
Jeb Bush ‘71 and Lincoln Chafee ‘71
After dropping out of the US Presidential election, we thought we’d give this one a shot.
I mean, nothing came up when we typed in the address, so I’m sure we can get it. Not making that mistake twice.
As two of the more moderate candidates in each of our parties, we know what it takes to create change. Don’t do too much.
Tell Voters to Clap