Welcome, ye lonely travelers, to the biggest, most glorious waste of time you have yet encountered… No, not this website… – the “About” section of this website, where we (i.e. the capital “c” Creators) will proceed to explain in excruciating and ungodly detail all of the various nuances, intricacies, and subtleties of this site.
This, in case you were too busy with your vibrant and intriguing life to notice, is The Gorilla (otherwise styled here for a variety of legal and logistical purposes – the details of which would be too lengthy and arduous to explain – as the PA Gorilla), Andover’s most trusted news source (read: satire blog).
You, as the desperate consumer of our mindless drivel, may be wondering about the origins of this publication. As well you should. Because you see – knowing the origins of something is imperative to understanding it. As such, we thoroughly admire your intellectual curiosity in regards to a matter of such high importance and respect the courage it must have taken you to voice your interest.
As our former copy intern, George “Mr. President” Washington, once said, “Boredom is the mother of all invention” (The Declaration of Independence, 1776). We at The Gorilla believe that senioritis should be used productively and, thus, are proud to present this publication to you.
Gold star if you read this far.